Tale of the tantrum

I've never thought this was something I would have to talk about concerning my son but lately it been the topic in my house when it comes to how to handle disciplining my son. It's easier said than done being that he's our first born and we feel so bad when having to discipline him for something that may seem so small but if not corrected early he would continue to do it with greater consequences.

My wife and I have noticed a pattern of tantrums from him because in the past everything he's ever wanted he's gotten and my wife and I realized it was becoming a pattern that we'd started and needed to be broken. Just a few weeks ago he had a melt down in our sitting room before eating dinner. My first thought was to grab him to make sure he knew daddy would not allow his behavior to existence in my home but the more I began to realize it after seeing him roll over the floor I knew I needed a better approach of discipline than what I received as a child. Before having children many people that I was close with told me that I would be very mean to my children because I had little to no patients to children who acted our or in my situation had tantrums that I didn't feel was justified. After having my own son I realized that I didn't want to instill fear into my him with the thought at every time he did something I didn't like there would be a consequence or in my mind some sort of whipping. I knew that I needed to have a different approach with him. There was also the discussion with my wife so that we would be on the same page in disciplining but us also acknowledging it was something we started that needed to be stopped. 

Disciplining my son was initially very difficult because as stated before in my mind I'd always imagined that I would be the father to spank my son when he did something negatively in my mind but I didn't want to instill a fear with him being afraid of me. As I'm still learning to this day I understand that giving children options and explaining to them what they did is wrong and how it can be corrected or handled differently next time is what helps them learn. I know some will say that my wife I and have a long way to go because our son is only 1 years old but I believe when you start early you have greater results. My wife and I are in a really good situation because it allows is to teach our son there are consequences for the choices you make it they aren't good. It also allows our son to feel safe to come to us in any situation creating a place of security and transparency. Lastly throughout this process it allows us to seek God on what works for our family and other disciplinary measures without resulting to spanking or yelling at our son.

As much as I love my mother I know what it's like to be afraid of a parent for doing something wrong without being given an opportunity to have a teaching moment with a child. If you don't teach them and instead punish them that's all they'll ever know without and may go through life making the same mistakes until it to late or they realize that life has passed them without being taught differently. 

My wife has been reading a book about kids having tantrums and we were given a little spiritual counsel about disciplining our son from someone we have a really close relationship. I also read an article about tantrums from parents.com for parents coping with there kid's tantrums "10 Ways to Tame Your Kid's Tantrums" that was a really good article to read. Hear are a few suggestions according to Shaun Dreisbach:

1. Ignore the kid- this is easier said than done when you have a toddler screaming in your ear but ignoring them allows them to examine there behavior themselves. 
2. Discipline without Spanking- I know this can be hard for some parents who grew up getting spankings but one spanking when your angry can cause you to take your frustration out on the child which can be very bad. 
3. Hugs- This is what happens sometimes with our son after his meltdown he wants to hug which is good for my wife and I. But for your child is helps them feel secure even if you don't agree with there behavior.

Although I don't agree with many of there techniques there were many that my wife and I have began implementing with our son teaching him and ourselves the importance of self-control. 

Join the discussion on Facebook, Twitter, or on our website and tell us how you handle tantrums with you little one? We'd love to hear from you and share your thoughts with other readers.

Photo credit: Motherhood In-Style Magazine
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