I've learned throughout this journey of being the stay at home parent that although it may be rewarding for the parent who has the opportunity to be home, it can be both difficult and resentful for the other parent who has to return back to their normal 9-5 job. This was the case for my wife, who not only works a normal 9-5 job as an Assistant Director in a career center within a liberal arts college, but also as a part time therapist.
Before having children we discussed our plans about who would be home with the children. One option discussed was having a nanny in our home while we both worked. Another was having one of our parents take on the role of caregiver. These were all great options and we considered each, even to the point where we made a list of questions to ask potential nannies. When I decided to resign from my job I never planned to stay home with our little one while my wife went to work but, God had a way of making it all line up for us. Seeing that my wife brings home more income than I do it made a lot of sense that she would return to work and I would stay home, and by no means am I bothered that my wife makes more money. We've each shared that role in our five years of marriage and we make sure that we work as #TeamGamble!
Let me get back to the topic at hand; that's another discussion for a later date. As I was saying, after we decided that I would stay home there were times when my wife would become very emotional and once she returned she shared that some days were harder than others. Believe me, in all the time it took for God to bless us with such an awesome blessing in our little one, if we could trade places I would. However, I'm currently working towards the degrees that my wife already has obtained to ensure that our future will be much brighter.
The other day when she was getting ready to head out the door to work she became very emotional. I was quite concerned andI knew what she was feeling. She expressed to me that "I really miss you both already." This was heart wrenching to me because, as I've stated, if we could trade places so that she could be with our son and not have to worry about missing out on any major milestones I would be honored.
My reason behind this blog is to help you understand that it's important to reassure your spouse or significant other that no matter how far they are their a part of the journey with you. Everyday I always make sure that my wife and I have the opportunity to FaceTime at least 2-3 times while she's at work and I also make phone calls as well as send pictures. Our hope is that once she returns to full time that our son and I would have lunch with her at least 2-3 times a week. I want to make sure that my wife has just as much of an opportunity as I do to see our son grow up. It takes teamwork, and it is one thing I love about us; that we share in making sure we are the best parents, partners and are sensitive to one another's needs.
Matthew Gamble Sr. is a father, husband, friend, and blogger. He writes about what it's like to raise Matthew Gamble II also known as M2 as a stay at home father. Join him on his journey into fatherhood with Mr. Daddy Duties!!!